Ethical Sports Pillows

"Is there one for sportsmanship?"

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

Free Range Golfers

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I'll be awhile, folks. We have a free-range chef and he's run off again."

"We located our factory in your country because there is no word for leisure in your language."

"You can see by its smile that this halibut was humanely killed."

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

'And remember: when introduced to the other team's captain, make direct eye contact and give a firm handshake...'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Halal Meat Everywhere Shock!

World Cup. Half Empty.

Vegetarian Professor

Please do not throw vials of steroids onto the field.

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

Hall of Fame

Victim support

Pretty Soon: Bioengineering will produce livestock which requires less processing.

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"