Anti-hipster Hero Pillows

Come in here if you don't like....

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Old rocker.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Gangsta wrap.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Hipster Police Department

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

Artisanal Pottery

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Hipster Coffee

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."