Hipster Culture Critic Pillows

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

"Twenty bucks says he pulls out a Moleskin."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Woke Jersey Shore

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'm your hip replacement."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

Hipster Coffee

Can I get you another coffee?

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."