Hipster Hearted Pillows

'Oh good gosh, No! We cannot go in there. It's full of hipsteers.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

The Organic

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"And now a correction: Portions of last night's story on diving mules which were read with an air of ironic detachment should actually have been presented with earnest concern."

A train's dining car is a diner.

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"