Hipster Inclinations Pillows

"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

Joined at the hipster.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."