Hipster Inclinations T-Shirts

"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Old rocker.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

The Organic

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

A train's dining car is a diner.