Anti-authoritarian Cook Gifts

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

"I was in a different place then."

"Dad, what did you do in the war against GM foods?"

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'This is not Hungarian stew. Sorry, the butcher ran out of Hungarians.'

"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

Commie Chef.

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

"Off with their heads!"

"If anyone asks, I didn't hear about the big beef recall."

'Venison steaks for a year! Now, Mikey will tell you the bad news.'

'Mix 1lb of greed with 2oz of corruption, fold in a sprinkle of ignorance then put on the shelf...'

"Okay, so what do we add?"

"We grow all our own bad-tasting ugly things."

"You'll be perfect for this Emeril Lagasse recipe I want to try!"

'The bizarre etiquette of entertaining: the smaller the group the worse the food.'