Anthropomorphic Art Admirer Pillows

"I'm a monster."

"They're not home.."

"The true story"

The Itchy Back

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Hair spray"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

Split the last one?

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

The Formal Street Artist

"No religious nuts!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You need a hobby."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"No, this is the elephant."

"He wants to know if we've got a more dog-eared copy?"

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"