Anthropomorphic Art Appreciator Pillows

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Do me next."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Hair spray"

"I'm a monster."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'Normally, seafood is good for you.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"No religious nuts!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"Please don't go!"

"The true story"

"You need a hobby."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"No, this is the elephant."

Nicholas recognises the young lady unknown

The Itchy Back

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

"Don't even think about it."

"They're not home.."

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'