Anthropomorphic Appreciator Pillows

Animal Band radio.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Do me next."

Meat Grinder

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Hair spray"

"I'm a monster."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

Big business is not evil

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"We pay the living dead wage."

"No religious nuts!"

'I'm thinking about quitting the rat race.'

"More aphorisms, please!"

"Please don't go!"

"The true story"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

The Itchy Back

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

'I get a lot of job offers..'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College