Anthropomorphic Admiration Pillows

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Hair spray"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"I'm a monster."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"No religious nuts!"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"We grind our own catnip."

"The true story"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"Please don't go!"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

"If we got one of those we wouldn't need to migrate!"

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Don't even think about it."

Les Fleurs Du Mal

The Itchy Back

"They're not home.."