Anthropomorphic Admiration Gifts

"I'm just updating my Facebook status to 'about to be huffed and puffed' with a sad face at the end."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Hair spray"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I'm a monster."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"No religious nuts!"

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"We grind our own catnip."

"Please don't go!"

"The true story"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

"If we got one of those we wouldn't need to migrate!"

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

"He wants to know if we've got a more dog-eared copy?"

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

The Itchy Back

"They're not home.."

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

"Don't even think about it."