Animal Sympathizer Gifts

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"It's true … your whole life does flash before you!"

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Innocent Civilians

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

Carrot Throwing Act

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

"Enough with the criticism!"

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

I hate to tell you this, but most of the pigs on social media are rooting for the wolf.

Tapeworms Need Love Too

Bull Visiting Matador

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

"I keep dreaming someone has cllpped my ears and snipped my tail."

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

"Every night, I feel so used."