Animal Empathizer Gifts

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

An equestrian warning a child.

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"This is worse than I thought - he seems to have claustrophobia."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"Why so sad, Pal?"

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

"I hate dressage: executing those complex steps in front of an audience is so overwhelming..."

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

Bull Visiting Matador

"I keep dreaming someone has cllpped my ears and snipped my tail."

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."