Animal Empath Gifts

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

"I like to cover him whenever we have fish in case it upsets him."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"I haven't had the heart to tell him yet."

"Miranda is in a lot of pain over the attitude of her cat."

"My dog doesn't understand me."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

"Why so sad, Pal?"

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Do you ever wonder if there is life on other dogs?'

'That's our boy!' (Monkeys watching Lee Evans on TV).

'Quick Bob someone's coming! Look sad and chatter your teeth and they will take us somewhere warm!'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I know, I know, he's like ... 'one of the family,' but I still find it unnerving..."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

Carrot Throwing Act

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"It's just till I get over our dog running away."