Dog Empathizer Gifts

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Why so sad, Pal?"

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"Enough with the criticism!"

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"Wait - you're right - it is as bad as it seems."

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Bull Visiting Matador

Sorry to hear about your accident.