Dog Empathizer Gifts

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"Enough with the criticism!"

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

Bull Visiting Matador

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."