Canine Empath Gifts

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"If the next one is any louder than that, I'm out of here."

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

'What you call 'Random acts of kindness' we call our 'Daily dog routine'.'

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

"I hate dressage: executing those complex steps in front of an audience is so overwhelming..."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"I keep dreaming someone has cllpped my ears and snipped my tail."

Bull Visiting Matador

Sorry to hear about your accident.