Canine Empath Gifts

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

The Golfing Accident

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"If the next one is any louder than that, I'm out of here."

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

'What you call 'Random acts of kindness' we call our 'Daily dog routine'.'

'You don't have anything in a smaller size do you?'

"I keep dreaming someone has cllpped my ears and snipped my tail."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"I hate dressage: executing those complex steps in front of an audience is so overwhelming..."

Bull Visiting Matador

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

Innocent Civilians