Canine Sympathizers Gifts

"Company? My God, I'd wet the floor too."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Are you serious? I've got a good mind to report you to the grievance commitee'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

"Hey. That's my Roscoe. I always thought he liked that game."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"Let's talk about my Right of Publicity after this photo."

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

Carrot Throwing Act

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

Documentary Proof - A Dog Lost hundreds of feet from home can easily find his way back.

"If the next one is any louder than that, I'm out of here."

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

"Now look! You've upset him!"

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

"Enough with the criticism!"

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'What you call 'Random acts of kindness' we call our 'Daily dog routine'.'

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

'The book isn't a self-help book, it's telling you that dogs aren't as important as humans.'

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."