Canine Activists Gifts

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Be kind"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"She wishes to range free!"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'I got a birdie, an eagle, and a lawsuit from animal rights activists.'

"Here's the news: the Maharajah's tiger-hunt is on Tuesday afternoon. You've been warned..."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

BOO MOO!

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

"Now that's just low-down mean."

"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

'Where are those nice blue fish that we like - the ones with the blue stripes?' - 'We ate them all - they're now extinct.'