Canine Activists Gifts

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Be kind"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"She wishes to range free!"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'I got a birdie, an eagle, and a lawsuit from animal rights activists.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

"Here's the news: the Maharajah's tiger-hunt is on Tuesday afternoon. You've been warned..."

Save the whales

"...and furthermore that said housewife violated both the animal cruelty statute as well as the disability act when she willfully cut off the tails of three visually impaired rodents."

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

BOO MOO!

'Where are those nice blue fish that we like - the ones with the blue stripes?' - 'We ate them all - they're now extinct.'

"Now that's just low-down mean."

"Humans destroy our natural habitat and then say we're an invasive species."