Animal Rights Activists Gifts

"We don't fire people here, Thompson, we tag them and release them into the wild."

"It's an attempt to make the whole process less stressful on the animals."

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'He's supposed to be an animal rights supporter but he'll talk the hind legs off a donkey!'

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

"Polo was a lot more fun before the animal rights people got involved!"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Tallyho!"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"I have no thumbs."

"She wishes to range free!"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Be kind"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Save the unicorn.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I told you it wouldn't work.'