Animal Rights Advocates Gifts

'I don't understand: I just went for a little walk in town... How is that a crime?'

"It's not discriminating, I just don't believe he's 18!"

'Do you know whether this rat poison has been tested on animals?'

'Turns out, M.C.Escher was the brains behind the animal smuggling scam.'

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Yes, technically I'm a working dog. But well, you know, what with the current economy..."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

Turkey Hostage.

Robert Doyle's idea of getting up close and personal with the possum population.

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

Bullets and Cowets

Despite pressure from animal activists, Erne's fragrances still believed in testing on animals.

"She wishes to range free!"

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'I became Free-Range a long time ago when I managed to pick the lock of my cage and escape...'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'Don't ever let them walk on you like that, son.'

"I heard there's going to be an increase in minimum cage."

"There's been a change of management..."

'Oh, stop it, George! I hate this part of grocery shopping as much as you do.'

'I appear to have upset the animal rights lobby.'

"...and, of course, the chicken is free range."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Tallyho!"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"Be kind"

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"