Animal Rights Advocate Gifts

'The GPS eliminates all the guesswork.'

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

"I go home today. They cured me using this new miracle drug. I'm afraid it'll be years before it's approved for humans."

"What the hell was I supposed to do? I've been declawed!"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Please, Dad, can I keep him? He's quiet, doesn't eat much, and he's worth millions in endorsement deals!"

Lab Rat Rehab.

Thanksgiving is Near

'Are you crazy? Somebody could get hurt on that thing!'

Free Range / Deranged

"I didn't realize, Your Honor. I assumed the law here was the same as in New Jersey. As you may know, dog eat dog is permissible there."

"Discouraging data on the antidepressant."

"You wishing me a happy Thanksgiving is a microaggression."

"At this time, we would like to welcome all platinum priority members to board."

'All in favour of an MP cull, say 'aye'...'

In spite of the protests from animal rights groups, doctor Clemens continues his experiments on static electricity.

This is FAKE fur - here's the receipt.

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

"By the way, I'm taking off the first two weeks in August."

Pig Reading Animal Farm

"You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they won' give it to other sick mice."

'Weird: There's been a guy with a clipboard observing you non-stop ever since they gave you that injection...'

'Okay, okay, we'll give you better conditions.'

'My work? It's been pretty stressful lately.'

Tasting Zoo

Horse Branding

The Dark Underbelly of Vegas Fountains

"We're finding that the ones we tested perfume and makeup on are extremely attractive to me."

The Farm-To-Sofa Movement

'It looks like we've created Super Resistant Rat.'

"And getting rarer by the day, madam!"

'I agree that it's nice of them to throw us bread, but frankly, it's always stale...'

'I'm no grey squirrel...just a very old red one.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'