Canine Campaigners Gifts

"He seems like a dog person, but I'll reserve judgment until after the primaries."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"She wishes to range free!"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

A smiling badger

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

'Fish store' 'All our products are dolphin-safe, whale-safe, turtle-safe, seahorse-safe.'

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'How dumb can you get?'

My master abandoned me because I had more 'likes' than he does. Please help.

'Are you serious? I've got a good mind to report you to the grievance commitee'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

Angry Bulls about to try out their version of Butchering on an unsuspecting Butcher

"It's funny...back when I first signed up to 'Adopt an Endangered Manatee', I thought they just wanted me to send money. Instead, little Julia came along and changed my life forever."

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'