Animal Campaigner Gifts

'No dolphins were harmed while netting this tuna.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"I have no thumbs."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"Be kind"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

Save the unicorn.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'I can't recommend the beef.'

'I got a birdie, an eagle, and a lawsuit from animal rights activists.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'