Canine Rights Champion Gifts

'My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff clients bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Tallyho!"

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Be kind"

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"She wishes to range free!"

"I have no thumbs."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

Save the unicorn.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

A boy who loves cows/burgers