Animal Sympathizer Pillows

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

"It's true … your whole life does flash before you!"

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Innocent Civilians

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Carrot Throwing Act

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

"Enough with the criticism!"

Tapeworms Need Love Too

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

"I keep dreaming someone has cllpped my ears and snipped my tail."

Bull Visiting Matador

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

"Every night, I feel so used."

"Sometimes, when I'm upset with her, I'll have a 'quote; accident 'unquote'."

'Stop Fred, don't taunt this one: He's a guide dog...'

Cat Attitude

"Star light star bright please let me wake up tomorrow and be a cat so I can sleep more and won't get my heart broken so much."