Pet Sympathizer Pillows

'Don't worry Vicar. He's only looking at you like that because you're eating off his plate...'

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

Cat Attitude

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

Lumbar support animal

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

At least your patients can't complain like the medical doctor's do!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Dog hitch hiking for a good home

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

"Enough with the criticism!"

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

'No, honey, grammy is in heaven.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'He's a very compassionate cat. He never kills any of the animals he catches.'

Dog food 5p off - "No, it isn't a good reason to buy a dog!"

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."

Bull Visiting Matador

Yeah, once again, Mistress missed out on getting the rental property she wanted. The usual issue: no pets allowed...

'We do require human references, if possible!'

"Every night, I feel so used."