Animal Roles Critic Gifts

"Sorry, you're a good character actor, but you don't have the physique to be the hero's horse. I can give you the trusted pack-horse role though..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Drama Llama

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

A smiling badger

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

My master abandoned me because I had more 'likes' than he does. Please help.

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"It's funny...back when I first signed up to 'Adopt an Endangered Manatee', I thought they just wanted me to send money. Instead, little Julia came along and changed my life forever."

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'Hello, Amnesty International?'

Another Cultured Meat Experiment Ends in Failure.

Endangered Species: Hardly, Slightly, Extremely.

Save animals

Sick Exhibitionist

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

Deforestation

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Testing drugs on people before giving them to animals...it's going to be an uphill battle.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Protection animals

Green Pieces Four Leaf Clover

Modern ark

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."