Animal Roles Critic Pillows

"Sorry, you're a good character actor, but you don't have the physique to be the hero's horse. I can give you the trusted pack-horse role though..."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Drama Llama

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Due to public pressure international wildlife groups give the Canada goose the official status of 'annoying.'

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

A smiling badger

My master abandoned me because I had more 'likes' than he does. Please help.

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"It's funny...back when I first signed up to 'Adopt an Endangered Manatee', I thought they just wanted me to send money. Instead, little Julia came along and changed my life forever."

"So anyway, I found a worm on the path the other day and carried it to safety. Then I hear: 'Hey! I was heading the other way!"

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

'Hello, Amnesty International?'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

Another Cultured Meat Experiment Ends in Failure.

Protection animals

Sick Exhibitionist

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

Deforestation

Endangered Species: Hardly, Slightly, Extremely.

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

Save animals

'Testing drugs on people before giving them to animals...it's going to be an uphill battle.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Green Pieces Four Leaf Clover

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

"Unfortunately, one species is going to be absolutely fine..."