Gender Role Critics Pillows

"I just think men find female homicidal maniacs very threatening."

"I'm male, you're female. Do the math."

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

Aprons

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"How is it gendered?"

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

His & hers towels.

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'No, this is not Mel's secretary. This is Mel.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Corporate Punishment.

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"In our little socioeconomic group, I've always taken care of the socio and John's done the economic."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

'This is me at my most masculine.'

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

'Forget equal ops, darling, we're searching for a female Maria.'

'Shirley makes money the old-fashioned way — she marries it.'

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

'I'll know Mr. Right when I see him. Upon marriage, he'll be willing to change his last name to mine.'

"He must be very secure in his masculinity."

A shared passion

"Has it ever occurred to you that you might be my trophy husband?"

It's an unwritten law. Guys can like only two kinds of flowering plants - a cactus with thorns or that one that eats flies.