Animal Rights Conversationalist Gifts

"That's pork - the meat of the pig. It makes an excellent substitute for tofu."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"I have no thumbs."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"Be kind"

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

"She wishes to range free!"

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

Save the unicorn.

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

'I can't recommend the beef.'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop