Animal Research Satire Gifts

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Strainspotting

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"It's my helper trout!"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

'YAY! PATE!'

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Leopards do change their spots

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

Laboratory mouse in a maze with directions.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

Possum bungee jumping from branch with bungee tail.

'Who says octopuses can't tango? We were doing great until I ate the trumpet player.'

Santa Enjoys Venison.

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

'How come there are no DOG BURGLARS?'

'I'm afraid it's going to make us a laughing stock, dear!'

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'I must admit I panicked when I first saw the low bone-density test results, but since you're a bird, it's all good!'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

101 uses of a dead cat: civilisation flag.

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."