Wildlife Satire Gifts

"Oh, yes, sir, the zebra is fresh."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Eat me"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Crow and fox

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Fasten your seat belt."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."