Wildlife Humorists Gifts

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

Gobble

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

"I'm not picky—whatever's wounded."

"We're hoping you can join us for a little drink at the water hole at dusk."

"Why are you surprised we're having leftovers? It's all we ever eat!"

Dang it, lost another earbud.

Armadillo playing accordion.

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

'Has anyone seen Rory? He should be back from his break in Essex by now.'

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call our insurance agent, say we want to get Medigap coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

'I told you not to keep feeding him tit-bits at base camp !'

Dances with wolves' lesser-known siblings,

'Face facts, Larry — even for an elephant you're fat!'

Bear with 'Bear Aspirin': 'I have one grizzly headache.'

"You say Sisyphean task, I say crap job."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Eat me"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Crow and fox

'I wanted a change in decor.'