Wildlife Humorists Pillows

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

Gobble

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

"I'm not picky—whatever's wounded."

"We're hoping you can join us for a little drink at the water hole at dusk."

"Why are you surprised we're having leftovers? It's all we ever eat!"

Armadillo playing accordion.

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

'Has anyone seen Rory? He should be back from his break in Essex by now.'

'Instead of hunting tonight, why don't we call our insurance agent, say we want to get Medigap coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

'I told you not to keep feeding him tit-bits at base camp !'

Dances with wolves' lesser-known siblings,

'Face facts, Larry — even for an elephant you're fat!'

Bear with 'Bear Aspirin': 'I have one grizzly headache.'

"You say Sisyphean task, I say crap job."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Eat me"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

Crow and fox

'I wanted a change in decor.'