Wildlife Satire Enthusiast Gifts

'The bears have monetized their brand.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Crow and fox

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

The cat's pyjamas - cat camouflage.

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'