Animal Kingdom Stan Gifts

'My dentist recommended it.'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Hitch-hiking Penguin.

'Check out the old dude.'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

Thug life on safari.

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'I like zebras. They have great taste, and wonderful personalities too.'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

'Thanks for the heads up!'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Want the wings as an appetizer?

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'Take me to your leader Earthworm.'

'Think about it: There's only one Queen, so we must be sisters!'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'A corsage! How sweet of you!! It's delicious!!! '

"I need the sun's energy to warm my blood and give me energy. You could almost say I'm solar-powered..."