Animal Dentist Gifts

"Leave the bowl."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

Ophiologist

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

Desert Vet.

Archeologists found a set of 9.7-million-year-old teeth in Germany that might belong to a primitive relative of early man. Totally unrelated question: Are you missing any teeth, Sadie. That's funny. Speaking of which, there are many ways a person could lose teeth. Threats of violence aren't funny in 2018. That's like a rule. A good pummeling never hurt anyone.

'I'll be glad to discuss Pal's itchy skin in my office tomorrow morning, Mrs. Allan!'

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Next time let go of the food sooner!"

How's your job at the stables? -I'd better dash my work is piling up!

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

'The vet did it.'

"We had him neutered,"

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'Flossing?'

Avian Chiropractic Clinic. Straighten up and fly right.

"I'm their pet. They love me. They'll do anything for me. They cut my balls off."

"Take this as directed and come back in a week"

'The necropsy was a success...but the patient lived!'

'Who told you you couldn't change your spots Miss Leopards? Of course you can...'