Dog Dental Health Nerd Gifts

"Leave the bowl."

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"You say you're flossing, but I'm scraping off a lot of tennis ball fuzz."

'...your teeth are putting on weight.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

The inscription says: 'Whiter teeth; fresher breath.'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

Toothbrush Superhero.

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"So, you see, what you were really looking for was a deeper connection with your father, and not the dentist's office down the hall."

'You need to chuck more wood.'

'I know! He has the worst breath!'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

'He doesn't want to get fixed until you do.'

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

'This, Sir, is what we call a Sertoli-cell tumor....'

'Why the seat belt.' Restraining patient.

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

'Flossing?'

"It doesn't actually work. But it's a great motivator for people to take better care of their teeth."

'Stop whining. The burning means it's working.'

'It's nothing serious. You just have postman's elbow.'

'I'm not going to charge you for the dentistry this time...