Animal Comedian Aficionado Gifts

The Rooster Comedian.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Hats and Food

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Penguin

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"