Animal Cognition Gifts

"Geez man. Who keeps a mouse for a pet anyway."

I wonder if he can think.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

"No no, I said sit!!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Romantic Giraffes

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Dog Nightmares

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'