Animal Behaviorist Fan Gifts

'Believe me, his lovemaking is anything but fettered!'

"Tough test. What did you put down for, 'Who's a good dog?'"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Cat box"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Bears catching fish

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."