Animal Behaviorist Fan Gifts

'Believe me, his lovemaking is anything but fettered!'

"Tough test. What did you put down for, 'Who's a good dog?'"

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Cat box"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"The hyenas started it."

Bears catching fish

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

What does aloof mean?

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men