Animal Behavioralist Fan Gifts

'Pavlov's dog eating Schrodinger's cat'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

"Why do they do that?"

"Cat box"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"The hyenas started it."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Bears catching fish

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

What does aloof mean?

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."