Angelic Taxpayers Gifts

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, death tax.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"The wings are addictive."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Actually, when I wangled a transfer to the Los Angeles office, I expected palm trees and ocean."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

You Are Entering God's Country. A Pearly-Gated Community.

'Unless you're going to pass, get the hell out of the left lane!'

"Are you even listening? I'm an arch-angel. There's no such thing as an investor angel!"

Angel talking to broker

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"You say 'meek,' but your records say 'passive-aggressive.'"

'I was doing a lot of good, but then the funding ran out.'

'I don't want to fight the evil Emperor of the Galaxy! †I want to do my taxes!'

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

'You don't have to worry about who to vote for this year, but I'm from Chicago.'

Angel investor.

'I don't write books any more -- My agent went to Hell.'

"I prefer to keep my religious views to myself."

"Oh that - that's blood I got out of a turnip."