Angelic Stories Gifts

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Halo Frisbee.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"You think it's tough down there?"

Damn defibrillators.

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Well, I don't know how to break the bad news to you, Mr. Jenson, but ...'

Smashed harp...

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'The Christ Child'

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."

'I'm afraid our records show that you still have two DVD's checked out.'

Devil Flushes on Angels

"He's my best friend – 74, bald, looks like a fat Sid Caesar."

You Are Entering God's Country. A Pearly-Gated Community.

"I'm not a fallen angel, precisely, but I have had a few stumbles."

Bull greets matador at gates of heaven.

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

'Uh-oh, here comes my wife. Just act natural.'

"Uh-oh, there go the dinosaurs."

Angel watching Soul Train

"What do you mean 'Gluten-free'?"

Jesus as a child discovers one of His many peculiarities.

Angel looking down to other angel: 'Oh, those poor meek guys - they inherited the Earth.'

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"Don't you think we're taking the 'playing dead' thing a bit too far?!"