Angelic Anecdotes Gifts

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

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"You think it's tough down there?"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

Yeah, last words are like snappy comeback --- You always think of the best ones after it's too late!

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Death of the pope.

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'I see my wife made it in.'

'My husband won't miss me 'til he runs out of clean underwear.'

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

'I'm afraid our records show that you still have two DVD's checked out.'

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

I just figured moths would have their own heaven.