Angelic Anecdotes Pillows

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

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"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

Death of the pope.

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

'I'm afraid our records show that you still have two DVD's checked out.'

'My husband won't miss me 'til he runs out of clean underwear.'

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

'Actually we were hoping for someone on drums.'