Angelic Antics Pillows

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Local News in Heaven

Halo Frisbee.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

Keyboard in Heaven

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

'Nobody likes a show-off, bub!'

'When is break time around here?'

"I get great reception this way."

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

'Oh, great...I'm having a bad halo day and the boss decides to walk by.'

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"I like it here. It's nice being part of a flock."

"First I was prematurely gray. Now I'm prematurely dead."

"He can't see us from there, can he?"

'Quick give them back-he's coming.'