Angelic Messenger Gifts

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

'He's bringing glad-to-be-gay tidings.'

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

Spring Break!

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'Yes, I'm sure they'll let you watch your soap operas, grandma.'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

"Oh them, They're contrarians."

You Are Entering God's Country. A Pearly-Gated Community.