Angelic Maintenance Humor Gifts

Halo Repair

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Local News in Heaven

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Damn defibrillators.

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Keyboard in Heaven

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Late Night TV

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."